Don't get too excited friends, we are not having a baby in the near future and we are certainly not pregnant. But as I see Facebook blow up with news feeds about new babies and new pregnancies, underneath my extreme happiness for all of our friends enjoying this wonderful event is my jealousy.
I am the quintessential baby hog. As soon as I even hear about a baby, I want to hold it. I want to rock it and feed it. It seems so creepy, I know. And who knows what made me this way, but it seems to have been almost my whole life. I've always had a thing for baby dolls. The smaller and more lifelike, the better. I remember having a regular water baby, but she wasn't small and cute enough when I saw the mini-water baby.
I feel like since we got engaged people have been on the baby topic. When do you think you will have kids? How many? Etc. Etc. Well, since we got married it has only gotten worse. Now when people I meet find out I'm married they assume I have a kid or then ask when we are having one. (OR they say "wait a really really long time." You can always tell happily married people from unhappily married by their reactions to marriage. I guess the same is true of babies. People who are happily babied want everyone around them to procreate too.) I feel like people are always looking at me to see the telltale baby bump. I know how movie stars feel sometimes. You gain a few pounds in the wrong place and guess what, you're expecting and you didn't even know it.
So this brings me to the discussion of when in a marriage to have a baby. My research tells me the two most important factors in this decision process is....when you and your spouse have a solid marriage and are financially ready. Well, thanks Google, but unfortunately I need more to dissuade me because when it comes to those two things, we've got it under control. So what else....
- loss of husband wife 1:1 time
- loss of sleep
- loss of individual time
- addition of 30+ pounds
- additional expense
- loss of flexibility to do whatever, whenever in our free time
- Peach baby training
- figuring out raising a baby with a full-time job
- and I am sure many more....
So of course I WANT a baby. But are we really ready for one?
I can't wait for the to come when we can get on that band wagon, and I know that now is not the time, but I still can't help but impatiently wait for the time to be right. And so the thought process continues...to baby or not to baby...
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