Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy

Motherhood is something that feels so natural to me, but seems so weird when you stop to think about it.

We are responsible for this little person, that my husband and I made and I continued to grow inside of my body. At about 10 months, doctors decided to evict said little person, and after 3 days in the hospital, she was sent home with us, the only real requirements being that we would bring her for a follow up doctor appointment and knew how to put her in a car seat.

When we first brought her home, I kept thinking that I needed some proof of documentation that she was indeed mine. Like I was going to be carded for having a baby. As time has gone by, I feel she is ours more and more, not just a little love that we're watching temporarily.

If children were adults, they would be the moochiest freeloaders ever. Sometimes, I think, "Boy, she's just getting so big, look at all the things she can do." But really, she's a blob. She naps like 3 - 5 hours a day, sleeps 12 hours a night and still has the audacity to be cranky and tired throughout the day. Same goes for eating. How can you eat like 5 - 7 times a day and still act like you've been starving at every meal, unable to wait for your mother to even move her shirt to expose her boob enough for you to latch. And still, we do this every meal.

But still, this helpless yet defiantly independent person teaches you so many new things. She has brought so much joy and love into my life that I didn't know was missing. Our Nina is such a happy little girl most of the time, its just infectious. I am happier because of her. If she's ok, then I really have no reason not to be happy. I want to smile because she is smiling, or I want to smile to make her smile. I want to be silly and fun to make her laugh. I want everything to be OK so she never has to be sad or cry in pain or distress. I can't think about her without being happy.

I love my husband so much more because he brought this sweet little person into the world with me. I love him more because when I see how much he loves his little girl my heart melts. I love him because he can make her laugh and smile even better than me and I think that makes him an awesome parent. I love how they have this easy camaraderie where she just trusts that he knows what he's doing to and follows his lead when he's in charge. I love overhearing him telling her silly things or making fun of me.    

Overall, I have to say life is just wonderful right now. I know that its not always going to be and that parenthood comes with its share of challenges but we've been so blessed for these past 6 months and I wouldn't trade a minute for anything.

Our Baby Story: Long overdue...

So after being 5 days late, our doctor's group decided an induction was in order. So at 7:30 on Tuesday, 5/15/2012, our 2 year anniversary, we checked in for our induction. They placed cervadil in me at around 10:45 am and by 11 am I was feeling contractions. I contracted unhappily for the whole day and night. The next morning when they checked me I was a whopping 2 cm. The broke my water and let me go on contracting. About 2 pm that day, after 30 hours of labor, I opted for an epidural. After getting yelled at by the anesthesiologist for moving, we settled back in to rest. At around 7 pm, back labor hit and my epidural was no help. Around that time, I puked all over Brian multiple times, cried hysterically for a while and then got yelled at by my doctor for being a whimp. I was maybe 4 cm. At 10:30 pm, I was 4.5 cm. So I had taken over 12 hours to go 2.5 cm. At this point my doctor realized that our baby was not progressing down the birth canal was probably stuck. Since I had been in labor for 38 hours at this point, my uterus was no longer forcefully contracting and so the hope of a vaginal delivery was gone. They prepped me for a c-section in record time and by 11:31 pm, our little love was born.

While prepping for surgery, the doctor insisted the baby was a boy. She said it looked just like a boy until she pulled out the bottom to reveal our little Nina. I didn't get to see Nina until about 5 minutes later when she was wrapped like a baby burrito. I got to kiss her sweet face and then she and Brian went off to the nursery to make sure she was ok. I got to stay in the OR getting put back together and freezing my insides off. At least the cranky anesthesiologist was nice and got me warm blankets so I didn't shiver to death. I had to wait in the recovery room for them to bring the baby and my hubby back, so I got my first good nap in days. After that, they still hadn't brought the baby back and so I began to hound the recovery nurse to call the nursery. Later, I was told this had really only been like and hour and fifteen minutes...I would have sworn it was like four hours. They finally brought the baby in so I could hold her and feed her and just see all her sweetness. We stayed in the recovery room until like 2 am as per hospital policy eventhough I felt fantastic.

We then went back to our room where my mom, dad and Marisa were waiting to hold Nina. They had met her in the nursery. They stayed to love her, and later Brian's dad came to meet her. At about 5 am, we finally got some much needed rest. Our hospital stay was pretty uneventful aside from lots of living visitors. We worked on breastfeeding and sleeping. Aside from being forced to give the baby some formula because she was ravenous for some real food, things went smoothly. We went home three days after her birth on May 19th to begin our lives as a family.

Don't Say no no no no no, Just Say yeah yeah yeah

"Don't say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we'll go, go, go, go-go.
If you're ready, like I'm ready."

So today marks the end of week 37 with tomorrow beginning week 38 of our pregnancy. I can't say I've loved being pregnant. I feel like normally, I'm not a big whiner, but being pregnant has made me pretty miserable on a lot of occasions. Still, to know there is a little baby that Brian and I created growing bigger in me everyday makes all the crappy stuff seem worth it. Now I just can't wait to meet the little monster.

Who would have thought that after all the hard months in the beginning, that the last 3 weeks are the hardest. The doctor tells you your baby is fine if its born from such and such a date on, and you think, "WOW, this could happen tonight." And then nothing happens. Or better yet, since you're not really sure what birthing a baby feels like, you think maybe something is happening, wait excitedly to find out, no, its still not time. Every week you go to the doctor hoping they're give you some great news, and its more of the same, "You and the baby look great, keep up the good work."

At this point I can't wait till its go time, but obviously, I have no choice either. I welcome the pain of labor and delivery because at least then I'll know there is a definite time limit on when this kid comes out to us. Until then, we'll keep doing our best to get little Scootie prepared for their exodus.

Peas Join Us Soon

This weekend was a wonderful reminder of what great friends and family we have. We got showered with love and adorable presents for our little Scootieboo. The theme of the party was peas in a pod and I have to say Marisa and my mom pulled it off beautifully. Now we have 9 weeks left until we can dress the baby up like a mini packers fan and introduce them to Pooh bear :)

Either Or

Boy or girl? Yellow or green? Heads or tails up? So many things to wonder about lately. I love to look down at my belly and see the little lump has changed from nice and round to lopsided left or right or super stuck out vs "hiding. " 15 weeks to go!

Vote on what baby is...http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/FLP6PL7