Showered With Love

This Saturday, March 20th, 2010 (perfect date), was my bridal shower. Brian and I received amazing gifts for our new house. ON Tuesday we got an e-mail that shows hope we might be moving into said new house sometime soon! Shannon came for my shower, as well as my family from NY and even my aunt from Florida. It was a long happy day of spending time with my favorite people, opening presents, playing games and eating yummy tea party food. :)

Where is My Nose?

So this week has been a pretty horrible work week. Not only was it the first week without the help of my wonderful student, but I have been banished to the second floor twice. Normally, I don't mind the second floor, but the ratio of my patients in ICU has been extreme. The ICU is a sad and depressing place. It is sometimes reserved for severely ill people who didn't have insurance who have no real hope of getting better, but can't be sent to a long term care facility because they have no means to pay for it.

Its is really sad to work with a young, non-responsive individual doing passive range of motion (PROM) that you know is doing nothing but maintaining their body's joints while their insides and minds turn to bacteria infected mush secondary to infections that get spread throughout long hospital stays. In the case you think I am being over dramatic, I would tell you definitely not. Two people died in ICU on Monday. Not my patients, but still, two people left the world in one morning which is horribly sad.

And the sad realization is that everyone dies eventually. The fact that our department check the obituaries daily, and knows at least one person a day. I have had the honor of knowing about 10 people who have died, and I have only worked at this job for 5 months. I guess everyone comes to a point in their life when they realize their mortality, but working where I do, I see every possibility for what will become of me if I make it past 50. What my skin and body parts will look like. Different variations of how I may act. Will I be the sharp as a tack, cranky person who yells at everyone, the pleasantly confused one who can't find my nose, or some combination personalities on the spectrum. I can only hope to continue to have a healthy relationship/ partnership with Brian where we care for each other emotionally and physically so that when we are in out 80/90s we can take care of each other. And I can only hope that my children are kind souls who are willing to help their parents with things like grocery shopping and cleaning, because old people have such a hard time with those things.

And also, the amount of good I feel I am doing for some of these people is limited. I know it is my job, and I am overall preventing pneumonia, constipation, pressure ulcers and deconditioning (things I tell my patients and myself minutely). But what good does that really do when the person is dying of 3 different kinds of cancer and has 4 weeks to live. Who am I to say they are unsafe to go home with their husband of 63 years just because they might fall and fracture a hip? I know it is my professional obligation to say they need to go to rehab or have 24 hour help (the last of which most people cannot afford) because it is my fault of they go home and fall, but sometimes you feel like this horrible monster in doing what is "best" for them. Some days, when I am told a person is put on comfort care (hospice) and no longer needs PT, I am so relieved, because I can stop torturing these poor souls. Sometimes I wish I could just take these people home with me for a while, especially when they have no spouse, family or friends and are alone in the world.

Most days I love my job and can see the good I do. Especially getting post-op surgeries moving or helping really good strokes get sent to the proper rehab they need. It is the frequent fliers of the trade, with their sad stories and constant trips back to the hospital that male me so sad, because in the end you are doing nothing but taking them out of their comfy bed and sticking them in a chair, where they are likely to be left by the nursing staff until bedtime.

On happy notes: I am getting married to my love in 58 days. My face looks somewhat better. My dentist office did my teeth cleaning early. My bridal shower is this weekend. And my family and friends are healthy and happy.

Crazy Talk

Julie: "Well there is a language barrier."
Mora: "What language? Crazy Talk?"

Different pages, still very funny. Anyway, I will miss Julie, my student, horrible. She has been such a pleasure to work with and teach and I have loved helping to form another caring PT to enter this profession.

67 days until our wedding. Almost 2 and a half months to go. RSVPs still coming in which are a much more fun part of wedding planning than I anticipated. Yay for good things to come like showers and bachelor parties (for the girls and boys respectively)!

Count Your Blessings

This was the quote for Dr. Seuss Day. As I have been very horrible at posting and it is now 73 days until the wedding, I figured I should write something here. Why, I don't really know since no one actually reads this, but it makes me feel as though I do have some sort of life. Above is my Dr. Seuss cake...

Wedding plans are hopping along. I got my hair and make up test drive done and they looked very bride-like. Now I am just trying to stay on top of face antibiotics that make me feel sick, trying to keep up on household chores and working. One week left of my student and then I'll be working hard again :(

Anyway, life is good. Grandpa is home and somewhat healthy. I am getting married to my favorite person in 73 days. I have a good job that is rewarding if hard. We are hopefully getting our house soon and moving. And I just love my life :) In comparison to one year ago this week, I feel like I fell down a rabbit hole and ended up in a fairy tale....

The Fight Over Peach

So the first words of advice almost every past bride gives me if the "At some point you will go insane and be crying to your fiance because he doesn't care about the difference between peach and pink." As typical Mora, I said I doubt it, I don't even like pink, but I think I reached this point this week. As I stood there blow drying the clear labels I thought were so fabulous when I bought them, but are only fabulous as smudging. After having labels print as things such as "Mora and Guest Jimenez" and inviting only one child of two child families, I reached my peach/pink point. Standing there blowing dry labels acknowledging I was going crazy was both humerus and upsetting, because since when does someone who is quite great at planning events reach a breakdown on pieces of sticky paper? But anyway, after throwing a temper tantrum over straws that broke the camels back, I am hoping that now my pink/peach moment is over and wedding planning will continue smoothly.

Did I mention there are only 100 days left until we are married and I become Mora Pluchino??!!

Love You, Mean It

As we sit here with Brian playing football and me listening to love songs and getting overly emotional and teary eyed, I think yet again of how happy and lucky I am. As "Let's Stay Together" is finally allowed on the playlist again and is a happy tune again, and I find new songs to love and relate to our lives :)

I'm sappy, I know....

"Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know

Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time

Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you"

one year later and a much happier place.

Have Faith

So my Mary Engelbright calendar has been very funny lately. It has eerily appropriate comments for different days and events. When my poor student had her first confrontation with a vomiting patient, the calendar said "If at first you don't succeed, try again. If not, then quit!" For the day that we began to wonder if we would be able to get our house, was the two words of "Have Faith." And for my day in peds was the picture of a bad little boy with the quote "If you can;t be a good example, you'll just have to be a terrible warning." This was then followed by a day of typically bad kids behaving extremely well. There remains nothing much too new in our lives. Still waiting for our contract to be signed and attourney review to end. Keeping our fingers crossed as I try to be a patient person.